april fool

What says "I love you" more than a dozen poopy-topped cupcakes?


Answer: Nothing.

poop is always funny.

Happy April Fool's Day, everyone!  Make it a great one!

fried chicken

Greasy, salty, hot, steamy.  I get excited about it more than a proper woman should. 

But I don’t really know how to make fried chicken.  Yeah, I know the basics: the ingredients, the process, the end result.  But starting with Point A and ending with hot and greasy goodness in my mouth… we’ll just say there’s room for improvement.  I have made fried chicken one time.  It was when I had just one babe and seemingly all the time in the world to devote to making dinner.  I started with about a dozen drumsticks, soy milk (no dairy or egg coating for this family), flour, salt, and pepper.  I added some panko breadcrumbs (the only dairy-free breadcrumb on the market as far as I know) and a bit of Italian seasoning just because I could.  I heated the oil, dipped, breaded, and fried.  I fried, fried, fried.  Wearing an apron as to protect my $10 t-shirt from grease splatters, I started to sweat.  And swear.  After what was I am sure was 45 minutes, I had finished frying like 4 pieces.  By the time I had finished the final batch, the oil was so littered with charred little breading bits, the house smelled like burnt nastiness for godknowshowlong. 

We ate the chicken.  The chicken itself was fine.  It was good, really, but nothing spectacular.  Nothing that would warrant ever again spending that much time standing in front of a stove, with hot grease popping onto my arms.  Never again, I swore.  Frying is a man’s job.  (Along with grilling, taking out the trash, and killing bugs.)

So here we are.  My fried chicken fantasies are only fulfilled on the occasional visits to a local restaurant, Frank & Helen’s Pizzeria (OK, technically it’s broasted chicken (fancy) but omg, amazingly good), or the one-off chance that I snag some at say, a family reunion?  4^th of July party?  A summer BBQ?  I never get invited to those.  But I refuse to sell out and hit up Kentucky Fried Beaks.  Place just scares me.

So I beckon you:  Please.  Tell me about YOUR amazing fried chicken-lickin.  Is yours a tried-and-true classic fried chicken?  Is it crazy crunchy or do you have a great technique for spicy breading?  I want your recipes, tips, and suggestions.  And home-delivery.

of running and fuzzy math

Over the years I have found myself enjoying a hobby I never thought I would.  Something I never was, and still am not, very good at.  But it’s cheap, a stress-reliever, and prevents me from sitting on my couch every night FBing until my eyes bleed.  I have a love affair with running. 

It’s been a long arduous road, but now I am training for my next half-marathon race.  Really, a person should not have to run more than 13.1 miles for any reason other than to escape violent death.  I squeeze in my runs a couple nights a week after the kids have gone to bed.  As it is dark by then, as I live in an older neighborhood (ahem), and as I am female sans mace, I have taken to running the track at my old high school.  The tall black wrought-iron fence and bleachers surrounding the track somehow make me feel invisible against evildoers, kidnappers, and the like.  Mmm hmm.   It just seems safer than running on the streets with hooligans likely hiding behind every stop sign. 

But there is a special kind of torture in running this track, for several reasons: it’s conveniently located across the street from a greasebomb chain restaurant and a legendary decades-old diner.  Running 24 times around this track with restaurant grease hanging in the air is like crack to my nose.  I press on with my run, mentally talking smack at the restaurant fryers as they taunt me with their fried cheese balls, cheeseburgers, cheese fries, and cheesy chocolate malts.  All the while trying to contain my bowels as for whatever reason, running is nature’s diuretic for me, oh, somewhere around mile five. 



I worked briefly here in high school, and yes, I wore
the rockin' poodle skirt like any self-respecting carhop should.

Which segues nicely into my final thought: guilty pleasures.  This gal has somewhere in the neighborhood of 1239732506745 dozen of them, including anything fried and anything cheese.  I justify to myself that since I run occasionally, I can indulge occasionally.  It all cancels out in the end.  What’s your guilty pleasure?  Do tell.                                                                          

a household staple

Granola bars. 

'Round here, we eat the heck out of these.  As most of the grocery store variety contain way more crap than a granola bar should, we tend to stick to the homemade version.  My dear MIL gave me this recipe years ago and I've tweaked it a bit to our tastes, as well as Finn's dietary restrictions.  The version we make is dairy- and egg-free, and I change it up each time I make it based on what tasty options I have in my pantry at the time.

Here is the standard recipe, with my dietary conversions in parentheses.


Chocolate-Cranberry Granola Bars
2 c. old fashioned oats, uncooked
1 c. all-purpose flour (I use half whole-wheat flour, half white)
1 c. dried cranberries
1/2 c. chocolate chips (I use vegan chocolate chips, available at Whole Foods.)
3/4 c. packed brown sugar
1/2 c. wheat germ
1 egg (I use 1 tbsp. ground flax seed mixed with 3 tbsp. water.  Don't ask me how this makes an egg.)
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
3/4 tsp. salt
1/2 c. vegetable oil
1/2 c. maple-flavored syrup
2 tsp. vanilla extract


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line a 9x13 pan with foil, and grease foil.  Set aside.

In a large bowl, with a large spoon, mix: oats, flour, cranberries, chocolate chips, sugar, wheat germ, cinnamon, and salt until well combined.  Stir in oil, syrup, vanilla, and egg until blended.  With wet hand, pat mixture into prepared pan.  Bake 25-30 minutes or until edges turn golden.  Cool completely in pan before cutting into bars.  Yields 18-24 bars.

What I love about this recipe is that you can just mix in whatever dried fruits, nuts, etc. that you have in your pantry.  Try making these with dried cherries and white chocolate chips, or dried chopped apricots and coconut flakes, or raisins and chopped almonds.  Enjoy!

cause for celebration

Did I ever tell you about my large family?  My obscenely large, almost-too-many-people-to-count family?    Maybe it’s just me but every time a holiday or family function rolls around, I have to do a mental headcount to determine how many people to cook or prepare for.  I’ll start keeping track once everyone stops having babies.  If that ever happens.

So the family function of the month was my dad’s 75^th birthday party on March 6.  We had a surprise party in honor of this awesome milestone, and we celebrated with a fraction of our extended family and a few of my parents’ close friends. 


This, friends, is what I made:

I got this Bruschetta recipe from a girl I work with.  It’s so simple and delicious, and looking at this picture again I want some in my mouth right now.  Anyway.  There’s quite a bit of chopping involved, but this recipe goes a long way.  We had about 35 guests and I made one batch, which was plenty when paired with everything else that was served.  I also plan on making this again soon to pack for lunch during the work-week. 

Happy birthday Dad!  You mean more to us then you could ever know.  We love you!

Bruschetta

All the listed ingredients need to be finely chopped: 

1 yellow bell pepper

½ Vidalia onion or purple onion

1 medium zucchini (do not use the seed pulp)

1 red bell pepper or a medium jar of chopped pimentos

1 jar of marinated artichokes (drained)

6-8 medium roma tomatoes (remove the seeds and pulp, use only the meat attached to the skin)

Option: add 1 cup of finely chopped genoa salami 

Mix in large bowl, then add:

 3 tablespoons capers

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

8-10 basil leaves, finely chopped

3 gloves of garlic, finely chopped

½ - 1 cup of fresh grated Romano/Parmesan cheese

Drizzle olive oil over all, toss until well coated. Let sit over night for the flavors to meld.  Before serving, salt to taste and add more olive oil if necessary.  Serve with toasted garlic bread rounds.

about this blog

My aim is to share simple, home-cooked, and time-friendly meals for families who are more interested in spending time together than spending it in line at McDicks, in a grocery store, or over a hot stove. 

The recipes and tips I share are generally easy, generally frugal, and generally healthy, but by no means am I a purist, a coupon-pusher, short-cutter, or calorie-counter.  Gimmicks aren’t my thing.  I do aim to eat real, minimally-processed foods whenever possible.  You’ll find some convenience foods used in my recipes on occasion, however, they are used sparingly.  Reducing your consumption of prepackaged, processed foods decreases the amount of sodium, calories, preservatives, and other unpronounceable wtfs that you probably shouldn’t be eating anyway.

Third-ish, I have a son who has several food allergies, and many of the recipes you’ll find on this site are (or can be) dairy-free, egg-free, and peanut-free.  I’ll share some of these tips in each of those recipes but feel free to ask questions in your comments, or even better, provide your own suggestions!

And finally, this blog isn’t meant to be a hard-and-fast food site.  A bit of miscellany will be thrown in for good measure.  My other interests include sewing, crafts, running, sleeping, potty humor, and my too-good-to-be-true family.